Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
