the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
