Moan for me like Helen Keller
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
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