How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
