But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
