Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize