yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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