i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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