I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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