I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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