Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
