is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Found the puke drawer
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
