I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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