I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I had to cum in my sink.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
