I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
