I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
