This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
