I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
