Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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