friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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