She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
