if you like me you must not know who I am
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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