you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
