I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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