I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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