You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
