R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
