I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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