I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
