Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
