Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
