you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
