I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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