Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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