thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
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If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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