your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
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