porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I love having hate sex.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
