Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
