8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
