Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
