dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
