I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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