you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
