In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
