Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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