I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
