it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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