my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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