I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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