Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize