Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
