wake up i wanna do it froggy style
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
