ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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