Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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