Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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