Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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