Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
be right there i have to get my cape
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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