There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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