Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
zippers are such a cool invention
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
