Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
how drunk are you?
Several
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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