I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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