So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
